


Broken Remembrances

by cakeisatruth



Category: Half-Life, Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Drabble, Gen, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-18 16:51:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4713344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakeisatruth/pseuds/cakeisatruth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, it would be easier to be able to forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Remembrances

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a Tumblr ask meme. Prompt: Gordon and Wheatley, "memory."

Perhaps remembering is the greatest curse of all. There aren't many who can still see it as clearly as Gordon does, the playgrounds full of children, the night sky clear enough to pick out constellations with ease, the air fresh and crisp.

Sharing jokes and a box of doughnuts with people who never made it out of Black Mesa that day.

The youngest person in the world currently stands at nineteen years of age. At a glance, he sees the looks in the twenty-somethings' eyes as weary, far beyond what they should be. It's when he slows that there's time to put together the bruises, the eyes staring straight ahead, the nails bitten down to the quick. And the thinness. They're not starving to death, but it can't be healthy to be able to see their bones so easily. Do they remember a time when it was different?

_"Remember him from Black Mesa? Your old administrator?"_

And Alyx can say it so casually that he has to suppress the urge to cringe. But what problem should she see with the word "remember"? The last time he saw her, she was barely out of diapers.

It is easier, he thinks, for those who were too young to understand.

* * *

Wheatley activates a sort of sleep mode from time to time. He thought it was useless when it was first installed - why would he want to go to sleep like some silly human? He knows now that sleeping is to stop thoughts. No wonder it's a basic human need.

He knows what all of those are, because it was taught to him once; he is not incapable of remembering things he's stored away. Food, water, shelter, air, sex, companionship. He feels grateful he was at least able to be a companion to her as they took down GLaDOS.

Humans, his reference file notes, are very social. There are documented cases of humans forming bonds with inanimate objects when there was no other alternative.

He knows now of the point when she stopped trying to take down GLaDOS in favor of trying to take down _him_. And maybe worse, he knows now that without a potato to keep her company, she could have easily gone mad for lack of companionship and stayed with him. He doesn't know what would have happened next, but she was the only one who ever needed him - even if it _was_ to satisfy a basic human need.

_ACTION: Format drive WHEATLEY._

_Warning! You are about to delete all files from drive WHEATLEY. Files cannot be recovered after deletion. In order to continue, please enter your password._

It's one of the things they never gave him, and now he is stuck here, unable to wipe his own memories and reawaken as a new core who knows nothing of Aperture, a new core whose entire drive contains knowledge of the vast expanse of space. Space remains monotonous and lonely, but it would be better this way.

Perhaps remembering is the greatest curse of all.


End file.
